Women Want Jerks: Half Truth

Problem

“I was nice to her”

“Why is she still with him when he treats her like that?”

“She should see that I’m the better choice!”

Have these words ever left your mouth? You know the answer, and you know what that means: You’re a Nice Guy.

You’ve heard the tall tale that women like jerks, that women are illogical for not picking the guy who treats her right. You’re the type of guy who cares for her, puts her needs first, spends time with her whenever you can; you’d make a great father. To women however, you make a terrible lover. You do not know how to hunt.

Women like jerks. Count how many time you’ve heard this. Now count how many women you know who are currently dating a jerk. Now count how often they stay with them. I met a young women who dated a guy twice my size who was uptight, possessive, abusive, and all the traits of a jerk. She later cheated on him with my friend, and left him. Was he able to keep the girl? BOTH the Nice Guys and the Jerks get booted. Does a woman with high self-esteem stay with a man who belittles her? She has a PhD, he doesn’t even have his high school diploma! Watch the women with high self-esteem who are with jerks: He never lasts. This half truth develops from Nice Guys who complain she’s dating an abuser over him. They don’t notice that it always ends. But why does she choose a Jerk, and date him longer than the Nice Guy?

Confidence. What does the Jerk have that the Nice Guy doesn’t? The Jerk never calls, always says no, and puts her down. The Nice Guy always calls, always says yes, and praises her for everything. Which of the two exudes more confidence? To women, the Jerk has confidence and he’s a challenge, the traits she responds to. He doesn’t give in to her, he’s not too invested in her, and he’s not too happy to be there. Why do women dump him? He has no self-control. He has no respect for her. He has no humor. To women, the Nice Guy has no confidence, no self-control, and he’s not a challenge. He’s too happy to be there. Why do women dump him? He  gets no respect. Women, don’t you love a man you respect? Can love exist if you don’t respect him?

Solution

The solution is not to be a Jerk. The solution is not to be a Nice Guy. The solution is to be the Gentleman. The half truth is that women only have the Jerk and Nice Guy to choose from. She has one more, and he’s the one she keeps: the Gentleman. He is the in-between of the two: He gives and takes. He never gets dumped because he understands women. He understands she must respect him to love him. You can be him.

You want to be the Gentleman. Your first step is to say “No” to her at least twice a month. The Jerk always says no, but she takes this as insulting. The Nice Guy always says yes, but she can’t love a guy who is always there at her call. The Gentleman tells her no every once in a while to remind her he is not a Nice Guy, and that he is not a Jerk. Tell her no to claim respect.

Hand in hand with saying no, do not do her favors. The Nice Guy does her favors to get his time in. What good does this do? You are not her mechanic, massage therapist, shrink, cook, or car washer. You must draw the line with what she can get away with, to earn her respect. Do you respect someone who is at your beck and call every minute? How can you respect anybody like this? When she asks “Can you hold my purse?” you reply with humor, saying “Actually there’s a nice purse rack over there, how about you introduce yourself?”. Humor keeps it fun, and denying her favor asking earns you respect. She asks “Can you help with my computer?” you say “I’ve heard the best computer repair guys are in the yellow pages, you should check it out!”. Do not be too happy to be there, do not to her favors. Favors are for friends, and romance is for lovers.

Finally, you must define the difference between favors and affection. You can’t have a relationship without giving, just as you can’t have one without taking. A favor is when she EXPECTS you to do something for her; when she’s asking for her car washed she’s expecting you to comply, and you won’t. Affection is when she does not expect you to do something for her, and you do it to keep her in love. She does not ask you to clean the house, and you did before she got home so she can enjoy her stay at home with you. Does this sound like a Jerk or a Nice Guy? He’s being affectionate, and you only deliver affection when she’s COMPLETELY in love with you. Women have levels of love, and she only receives affection when you are at the highest. Nice Guys deliver affection too early. Jerks never deliver it. Ask a woman yourself, can she love a man who never gives? Because you already know she will never love a man who always gives.

Hunter Fox

The Fox Dating Team

Contact at foxdatingteam@gmail.com to request advice, and have a chance to be mentioned on The Blog.

Tug of War: Who should like who more?

 

I was recently asked by a friendly girl I know who comes to me to understand relationships.

Her question: Who should like who more?

What kind of question is this? Aren’t relationships based off equality, honesty, giving, caring, and feeling sharing?

No. The girl must like her man more, because the girl’s feelings for her man are what allow the relationship to be there in the first place. After all, which sex gets the boot more?

Relationships are based off her feelings, not yours. In order to keep your shot with her, you must get her to like you more, and you do this via your actions.

Your actions. Women directly respond to how YOU act. If you act accordingly, she’ll stay interested in you, which means her interest will outweigh yours. Can you ever be too loved by your girl? Are relationships ever even between the man and woman? One must win the battle of love, and it’s best if you are on the winning side. After all, you know how to care for her now.

Men, you have the power to control your interest. You do, and best yet you’re learning the power of getting the girl in love with you by reading this blog. You know this most of all though: Women can’t control their interest. It is based on the actions of the man.

Imagine that you are dating actress Megan Fox. Now, you two have been dating for a while, but you feel she doesn’t love you, that you’re all over her and you wish she’d be the same way towards you. How often has this happened to you? Too often. Now imagine that you’re dating Megan Fox, and she’s the one that touches you, does things for you, and cares for you through affection. Is it unfair that she likes you more? Best of all, what can you do about it?

You can control whether you take her for granted or not. Most men take their wife or girlfriend for granted because they think the hunt is over when their girl is all over them. However, it’s only just begun. Do not forget: Romance never ends, you must continue the dating dance from when she’s just that girl at the cafe to when you slip the ring on her finger.

Solution

Guys, I’m sure you’ll agree that a relationship where your girl greets you with a martini and a kiss the second you arrive home from work is better than one where you’re supplying everything for her. Is this using her? Far from it, because if she’s doing these things for you (you’ve never asked her to do a thing either!), then she’s so happy with you to the point that she enjoys pampering you. Don’t get ego inflated or take her for granted, this is a privilege.

Your girl MUST like you more. There is a balance of power in the relationship, and you would rather be on the winning side because you know how to take care of her (by making her totally crazy about you!). She MUST like you more because she is different. When she likes you to the point where she misses you the second you leave, she enjoys it because women ENJOY being in love. Men crumble when we’re in love; just look at how that wuss from across the hall can barely speak as the Office Queen gives him a glance. Don’t be this guy.

Why did she ask me who should like who more? She was falling for her guy, and therefore wanted to figure out if she was out of line with her feelings for him. Simply put, he was doing things right!

Hunter Fox

The Fox Dating Team

Article can be found here: http://thecomedypoint.com/2012/01/11/intome/

The Phone: A Woman’s Weapon

Problem

You ask girls for their number right? You text them 3 days later then too, huh? You spend your time texting her for hours to days on end, you and I both know that. But: did you ever get the date with her?

“Well she’s just busy Hunter, when she’s free we’re going to the movies”.

“Her mom is in the hospital, so she has to go take care of her instead. I understand.”

“I haven’t received a text from her, so she’s probably doing something. She’ll get back to me.”

Don’t even pretend you haven’t said these words in your head countless times, or any other rendition of them. There’s no shame in it, and if you’re following where I am going with this, you’ll notice that NONE of these responses show they got a date.

Plenty of tips on using the phone for dating are out there. However, you’re coming to mine for a reason. From a recent article from Carlos Xuma, a “dating expert” (avoid this title like the plague), explains the texting fundamentals for that lovely girl you got a number from. He states to text a girl with a short message stating who you are, where you and her met, and ask her to call you. Then he explains a little tip to get her to like you more:

“Let’s see what to text a girl to keep her interested is all about…

1. “Hey you. Yeah YOU! Can you keep a secret?”

Of course when you text a girl like this she’ll be curious and say “YES” and ask why, after which you’ll say:

“Don’t tell anyone, but I met this insanely cute girl the other day. Her name is NAME OF THE GIRL YOU’RE TEXTING. It was a shame she didn’t have bigger boobs though.”

Now THAT is a great example of what to text a girl if you want to tease her. Don’t look at me that way man. This works because you’ll be one of the few guys who’s not impressed with an attractive girl’s looks and kissing her ass. That means you’re hard to get. Girls want that.“

I’m on your side guys, that’s why I spend my time giving you the RIGHT advice. If you want to get of your situation of losing the girls you like, you’ll listen. This dating expert’s advice is far off base. Listen up: NEVER text a girl, and stay off the keyboard.

Communication is the most important part in a relationship, but even more important if you’re trying to score a date with this girl. 7% of her communication is what she says, 38% is how she says it, and 55% is her body language. How in the hell do you plan to read her when you’re already cutting out 55% of communication over the phone? At least on a phone call, you’re covering 45%. Not bad.

Carlos covered that as well, saying you should tell her to call you. This is trying to look good by getting her to call you, but what does that matter? YOU are the aggressor, and you got her number. What good is getting her to call you going to do? If she does call you, I know you think “Yes, she called me. This means she likes me”. No, there’s still a large chance of her just trying to get a date from a guy she does not like just to get some free dinner. Don’t waste your time with this tactic! Never text. 

When you are on the phone and you ask a girl out, you can hear the excitement she lets out through the enthusiasm in her voice, and the painful agony of going on a date with you by her tripping over her words and monotone voice. Remember, those smiley faces over text mean nothing.

Carlos, are you saying that men can get girls to like them by telling her how cute she is and dissing her breasts? Classy my friend. Guys, it’s your choice who to follow, believe, and listen to. This back and forth texting game may look like the good tactic; it’s fun, it’s humorous, and it’s flirty. I say what the hell does that matter on the phone! The phone is NOT where you present yourself; you present the fun, cocky guy you are on DATES. You get her attraction on dates, and you get the date on the phone. Look, go ahead and try this text game from Carlos. After all, the one good piece of advice he offered is play hard to get. However, after you’re done, you still did not get a date, and therefore you still don’t know if she likes you or gave you her number because she wanted to get rid of another chump. Carlos states this as playing hard to get. I say it shows you have enough time on your hands to text, which makes her think that you have too much time on your hands. Call her and keep it short, leave the conversation first, and do NOT talk to her until the date. After all, she can’t conclude you have no social life when you’re not spending all your time texting her.

 I don’t want to keep you reading, so let’s get to the right advice.

Solution

1. Wait a week to call a girl Every guy waits 3 days to call, because they do not want to appear desperate. You will wait one WEEK to call because you have a life. I’ll let you in on something: No guy wants to follow this advice because they fear they will be forgotten. But does a girl who likes you forget about you? If you were George Clooney and waited a week to call a girl, would she forget about you? Now we can’t all be superstars but we can all date blondes like Stacy Keibler. Wait a week to call her. If she asks “Why didn’t you call?”, you know she likes you more, because she just revealed that she’s been waiting for her phone to ring and her to answer to your voice. Besides, women with high self-esteem can last 7 days without a guy she likes, because she does not need him to be there 24/7 to be her bodyguard. Think; if women with low self-esteem need tons of compliments, don’t they need you to be there 24/7 to give them? Only women with low self-esteem hate on you for waiting 7 days to call, and only women with no interest in you don’t care. As for the ones that like you, you only gain their interest when you’re not with them because they want to be with you but you are not there.

2. Call her, keep the call short, and tell her you and her are going somewhere. Carlos got it right when he said guys blab to women’s voice mails too much. However, he got it WRONG when he said tell her how you and her met. When she answers the phone with that “Hello”, you will say “Hey, it’s ____”. Nothing else. Just think, if she forgot who you were and how you met in 7 days, did she care for you? Hell, your stalker can remember your birthday! Remember, if you were George Clooney would she forget how you and her met? No, but you’re not George Clooney. But you might be a guy she digs, and if she is interested in you she will say “Oh hi!”. I practice what I preach, and I promise you they will remember you if they like you. If she didn’t like you to begin with and gave you her number to be polite or get rid of you (same outcome either way), she will say “Who?”. What about the girls that are just plain beautiful, and likely get tons of guys with my name? She will ask if you were the guy from ____. Girls who like you, help you get a date. Plain and simple.

3. Keep it short, and get the date You will talk for only 5 minutes on the phone. You do the talking and getting her to like you while you are on a date. The phone is for getting the date. Think this is coming on strong? That’s why you waited a week to call, so that excuse is out. When you’re ready you will say to her, “Hey ___, let’s go to coffee at Starbucks this Thursday. I’ll pick you up at 4, what’s your address?”. You will either her that sweet street name from her lips, or every reason why she can’t go out. Should she like you, and really can’t go out, you will hear “But I can make it on this day”. You’ll know she is really busy if she counters with another day, but you know she doesn’t like you if she doesn’t. Try it: Ask a girl out, and when she says “I’m busy” and leaves it at that, ask for another day. Keep asking, because you can name every day up to 13 years from now. Remember, if a girl likes you, she helps you get a date.

The phone is the woman’s weapon. She uses it to trick you, to tease you, and to misguide you into thinking she’s interested. It’s not a bad thing, after all she’s not lying to you in any way. You are just not listening close enough. Listen to your buddy next time he talks about this hot chick that he’s trying to score with. As he speaks, notice that he never mentions he asked her out, or if he did, that she did not say yes. There will be more of these times than the other.

Hunter Fox

The Fox Dating Team

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Hello world, and welcome to the wordpress that will change your life!

For too long, men have followed the wrong dating patterns, the wrong dating advice, and the wrong way of life. Who teaches you how to get the girl to fall in love with you? Who teaches you to KEEP her in love with you? Better yet, who tells you how to keep her passion for you so powerful that she won’t give any other guys the light of day? I’ll tell you what, it is not Oprah, Dr. Phil, or any other relationship “expert” you see on tv. Not even the dating coaches you see on the internet.

Men have not been trained in the art of love. If we were, we wouldn’t need divorce lawyers. We make too many mistakes, there’s no shame in that. The shame is having an ego too big to realize you need what I will tell you. You hear the same advice from every coach, dating expert, love professional, marriage counselor, and pickup artist. How will what I tell you be any different? That’s for you to decide. And best yet, you get to decide for free.

Follow this blog, read one article, and I gurantee you will be reading more.

Hunter  Fox